Spam is annoying. When it’s phishing, it becomes nefarious, trying to draw the good but ignorant or naive people to a bad ending. Sometimes, however, the spam or phishing email is so bad that it’s hilarious. I just received one of those. It is one of the worst bits of phishing email I have ever seen. It makes the Nigerian prince schemes look polished and sophisticated. I just have to share it with you all.

From : mmohamed@planning.go.ke

Subject: It Is Private!

Good Day,

I am George Daniels, a Banker and credit system programmer (HSBC bank).

I saw your email address while browsing through  the bank D.T.C Screen in my
office yesterday so I decided to use this very chance to know you. I believe
we should use every opportunity to know each other better. However, I am contacting
you for obvious reason which you will understand.

I am sending this mail just to know if this email address is OK, reply me back so that
I will send  more details to you. I have a very important thing to discuss with you, I
look forward to receiving your response at: danielsgeorge460@yahoo.com.hk

Have a pleasant day.

George Daniels

The lack of effort really shows here. Here’s the BPoS (Basic Points of Stupidity)

• The sender email matches neither the name or the the embedded email. Talk about lazy
• The subject line says “It Is Private!”. And all your base are belong to us. Mmohamed or George Daniels or whoever this is, certainly seems excited about telling me that something (not sure what “It” is) is private. .
• He says he is a Banker and a programmer. Which is it?Is he having an identity crisis?
• Browsing the D.T.C. screen? What the heck is that? Is it supposed to sound like banker-talk? Sounds more like BS to me.
• Besides, why would some random programmer or banker be browsing though my account information… especially in a bank that I don’t have an account with. Even if I was an HSBC customer I wouldn’t expect their programmers to randomly look at my account.
• He wants to know me. Awww. I feel all warm and fuzzy. I’m not sure but I think I’m being asked out but he’s a little too shy to come out and say it. Sorry dude, you’re not my type and my wife wouldn’t like it.
• Maybe I’m stupid but the reason for this is not obvious. Instead, it’s baffling. If it were obvious then I certainly would understand, so George, you are redundant. And I mean that in a variety of ways.
• All employees at one of the largest financial institutions in the entire world are contacted through a Yahoo account in Hong Kong (that’s what the .hk means). I mean, hsbc.com or hsbk.co.hk would be too obvious. Of course, international banks aren’t known for their transparency so maybe this is how they do things. More likely not.

What is so incredible irritating is just how stupid this mmohamed or George or whoever thinks we are. Even if I think of the most uneducated or naive person I know that is capable of figuring out email, I can’t see them falling for this. It’s mindbogglingly bad.

So I have to laugh and invite all of you to do the same.